All I want to know is… the hell is the big deal? Settle down. People, you’re going to pop an embolismthe size of a balloon poodle tail. I’m talking aboutthe reaction to the six to three vote by the Supreme Court upholding an Indiana law that requires a person to show a photo ID in order to vote. And some folks are simply foaming with apoplexy. By the sound of their little fists pounding on various semi-solid surfaces,you’d a thunk they had just discovered that rhythmic clapping doesn’t really bring faeries back to life. So you got to show a government issued ID? So what? You’re voting. It’s a privilege. Earn it. You have to prove you’re registered in the district in which you are voting, don’t you? Read the rest of this entry »

Democrats, take heart. When our candidate is chosen (it appears it will be Obama), he will be well vetted and well hardened. I am a 66-year-old geezer who resents blatant ageism, but McCain is too old to be President. He has doddered on the Iran-Al Qaida issue several times and the sight of Senator Lieberman telling him what to say in his ear like Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy was not encouraging. He will make his share of mistakes in the campaign, and no doubt his temper will get him in trouble. The name and legacy of George Bush, Jr. will become a ubiquitous anchor for the retired naval officer. He believed in Bush and his policies and with few exceptions supported them.

While personal resentments between Clinton and Obama will not disappear, we have seen worse intra-party fighting for the nomination as during the Vietnam War, and it should be the candidate’s duty to support the nominee. Either Obama or Clinton may have to wait their turn, but they will not have another turn if they do not wholeheartedly support whoever is nominated. Read the rest of this entry »

As the race for the democratic nomination drags on even though the math clearly shows that Hillary Clinton has a bigger chance of getting hit in the head by a meteor than she does in winning the nomination (and as fun as that sounds, it’s just not going to happen) one thing is clear: the so-called “MSM” (I was disappointed to discover that it stands for “Main Stream Media,” and not “Macho Sado-Masochists,” as I had excitedly hoped) is horribly biased.

The media is not biased towards the left or the right, women or men, blacks or whites as so many have supposed, the media is biased toward one thing and one thing only:

We have got to keep this election soap opera running, because it’s worth good ad money.

So now that I’m blogging here on CNN and you can make the case that I’m part of the “Main Stream Media Vast Soap Opera Conspiracy,” I want to do my part in helping everyone to pretend that the contest isn’t over by expanding the scope of the contest.

That’s right people, it’s time for a First Lady Smackdown. Given all the excitement of Cindy McCain’s “Recipegate,” I am proposing the following:

Cathryn Michon’s First Lady Winner-Takes-All Cook-Off! Read the rest of this entry »

Obama mania is reaching a fever pitch online. A psychotic, frenzied, foaming-at-the-mouth fever pitch. Need proof? Check out this video.

Order another bag of peanuts, pass the cotton candy and get used to the smell of sawdust, because the circus tour has been extended. Yes, my friends, welcome to the primary that will not die. You’d think that after six thrill-filled weeks of hosting this sideshow competition of rival ringmasters outdoing each other in the “Like A Normal Human Animal Act,” the state of Pennsylvania would selflessly provide the rest of the country with a semblance of closure by permanently pulling up the stakes of this traveling Big Top. But no. They got addicted to the sound of calliope music and don’t want the spectacle to end. Selfish bastards. Read the rest of this entry »

Finally! A definitive recap of why Hillary won in the Keystone State.

The Pennsylvania primary is over and done with, and I for one am thrilled with how utterly inconclusive it was. In the previous 44 contests, the Democratic candidates were too focused on wooing voters via tactics like discussing how best to implement nationwide health care or proposing solutions to America’s mortgage crisis that don’t involve not doing anything. Nice try, Dems, but you know who else didn’t have health insurance or homes? Hobos. Yet they weathered the Great Depression just fine and became beloved comedic stereotypes in the process, despite all the efforts of FDR and railroad bulls.

Thankfully, Hillary Clinton has shown real leadership in the last few weeks by moving discourse away from the issues and toward the things that really matter, like the flaws of her opponent, Barack Obama. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted By Antaeus, Brimstone Party Chairman of the Nine Circles Of Hell

Congratulations are in order. Although not because of her big win Tuesday night in the Pennsylvania primary. As every gleefully miserable, hunched-over contrarian with a wireless keyboard has already pointed out on their respective blogs, it’s still mathematically impossible for Hillary Clinton to win the Democratic Presidential nomination. Something about a lack of pledged delegates or whatever. I’m not really fluent in you Americans’ Byzantine form of democracy.

But I do know this: it appears that your precious, little junior Senator from Illinois is all but fated to get the nod. I’ve read your New York Times and your Washington Posts and they all say it’s simply a matter of time. And no amount of last-minute primary barnstorming in your North Carolinas and your Indianas can save Hillary’s quest to be the next “leader of the free world.” And that’s OK. In fact, that’s to be commended.

Because I’m here with a special message for Hillary: don’t abandon all hope, ye who enter… um… this blog. Because you do still have a chance… in Hell!

That’s right! On behalf of the Brimstone Party of the Nine Circles of Hell, I am overjoyed to announce the selection of Hillary Rodham Clinton as our official nominee for the head of the Executive Office of Infernal Affairs. The seat is up for grabs this November, and we believe Hillary would be a shoe-in. Read the rest of this entry »

What’s the story with Hillary Clinton toppling Barack Obama in the Pennsylvania primary? Larry Wachs gets the scoop.
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Are you sick of watching our country turn into a bunch of tax-paying, border-crossing, overeducated Pinkos ruining the American Dream? Does a lower back or glandular weight problem keep you from returning to your job? 



Need to express the outrage that our heroes on the radio command us to feel all day long? In case you’ve ever wondered what the deal is with all these bloggers who pop up on different political Web sites and  disrupt everything, well—they’re called Trolls. 



So, welcome to the wonderful world of Trolling! 



It’s fun and easy. “Easy” being the operative word here. Hey, who wants to actually work when you can stay in your Mom’s basement and type? 



Trolling is GREAT!



If you’ve got a penchant for spirited and witty repartee (or not) then trolling is for you. Read the rest of this entry »